Money and Sex (as in Gender)

Max got a raise today. As he recounted the circumstances to me, I was reminded of how different we are when it comes to asking for a salary/raise in a job situation.

I can never quite shake the feeling that I am lucky to have a job at all, and, therefore, have little right to question my pay. I manage to shake it off occasionally, but it lingers, every moment. Max, on the other hand, although not ungrateful for an opportunity, is never afraid to ask for a raise. He believes he deserves it, and he does. He is providing a valuable service as a designer, he says, and, although he is not irreplaceable, he is invaluable. He was offered this job for a lower salary than he desired; he only accepted once they agreed that after a trial period they would increase his pay dramatically. And they did.

For me, even when I have been promised a raise, there is always the fear that if I push too hard, I will no longer have a job. I'm not sure where this fear comes from. I was never fired, nor has ayone close to me. Perhaps it was growing up listening to my grandparents talk about the Great Depression, or maybe it is just because I'm still getting used to the fact that Max and I must support ourselves. Although our parents are extremely generous, it is just the right thing to do.

There are often studies of gender and pay, and recently it has been conjectured that the reason women are often paid less than men for similar jobs is not because of discrimination; rather, it is because they do not push as hard as men do for raises or do not ask for as high a salary to start with. I'm not sure how true it is, but it certainly reflects the attitude of this couple.

What do you think?