Max had a death in his family recently. The majority of both of our families are Catholic, but not obsessive. Most don't go to church every week, but go more than the Christmas and Easter, as well as the occasional wedding or funeral, as I used to do. So when his great aunt died (not at all unexpectedly), we took off from work and attended her wake and funeral. Max, of course, is respectful of the beliefs of others, and attended without hesitation; however, when the time came to eat the bread (receive the host), he remained seated.
Obviously, people who are not Catholic should not be forced or expected to follow Catholic traditions and laws. A Jewish or Muslim person would immediately be excused from such a tradition. As always, though, it is often perceived differently for an atheist, especially an atheist who was brought up Catholic, and who had been baptized and confirmed. Most of the people who were attending the funeral attended both of those events as well. Nobody said anything to Max, but he did get a few stares.
I'm not sure exactly who knows of Max's atheism in his family. His close relatives do. We've discussed it with his parents and sister many times. But as for cousins, uncles, aunts and more distant relatives? I don't know, and neither does he, apart from the relatives he has literally told. Max never hides how he feels and will not follow any religious traditions just because they are religious, but neither does he make a point to let everybody know his spiritual beliefs. It is not what defines him, and therefore he does not feel the need to proclaim it to the skies. So how do they know why he is not standing up? I completely support his decision not to, but I am concerned that it might seem disrespectful to those who do not know the whole story.
Atheism on a whole is very offensive to some people. I know my parents aren't thrilled about it, although they do adore Max. It is vitally important to respect others' beliefs, but what can you do if respecting others' beliefs conflicts with following yours?
What do you do in these situations? Any advice?
Poll Results:
Can a marriage between two people of different faiths work?
Absolutely: 38%
Depends on the people: 42%
If the faiths are similar, maybe: 9%
No: 9%
Thanks to all those who answered, and check out my new poll!
Posts
2 comments:
I try not to go to funerals anymore..it's too uncomfortable!
I had a similar situation at my sister's funeral. The priest was actually sensitive to the fact that not everyone was Catholic and offered the option of a "blessing" instead. It didn't hurt me and made my mom feel better that my younger sister and I participated. I don't know that I would have bothered for a great-aunt though.
Post a Comment