Marriages, houses, and babies, oh my!

Since we've been married, Max and I have been trying to make some major decisions. The two biggest ones are where to live and when to have a baby. The baby issue is extremely complicated, so I will explore that in a separate post.

First of all, Max and I are New Yorkers. We were born and raised on Long Island, and to us, "the city" will always be Manhattan, although we've lived in Philly and in London. We made the decision to move out of New York after college because we wanted our own place, and, eventually, our own house. It is almost impossible to find a good starter home on Long Island for two people who, frankly, are not in get-rich-soon type of careers (he's an industrial designer; I'm an editor and grad student). So, after going to college in NJ (me) and PA (him), when it was time to get a place, we chose Bucks County, PA. Most of the time, we are quite happy with out choice. We love the area, and four of our best friends in the world live here. We both like our jobs, we have good commutes, and we like the people. But we are not near any of our family.

My family is still on the Island, while his has moved to upstate NY. To visit mine, it's not too bad: 1 hour and 1/2 to 2 hours (sometimes, more, depending on LI traffic). His: 3 and 1/2 hours away. His sister is slightly closer: 2 and 1/2 hours away. Since we see our families a lot, and we are the ones who moved away, this translates into a lot of traveling on our weekends. And we just can't think of a way to improve the situation. We can't afford LI (and Max doesn't want to live there) and we do not want to move upstate. It really weighs on us, especially Max. He really wants to be close to his family. But, for now, we are staying where we are, and are mostly happy about it.

We've been looking for a house since January, right after we got back from our honeymoon. We've had a few possibilities, but nothing has panned out. We'd like to take advantage of this buyer's market, but we (I) are terrified that we might get in over our head. So we wait, have our parents come up and look at the house, and we lose the house we are interested in. There is one house that we love. It's out of our price range (by 30,000), but in a buyer's market, we had a shot. So we made an offer, which was not even considered. Max refuses to offer more, even though we can afford to go a little higher, because he says the amount of money it will take to fix up the house does not justify a higher price. And he's right, but it's disappointing. So I wrote the buyer a letter, asking her to keep us in mind if she does decide to sell for a lower price.

The house is a beautiful old Victorian that has fallen into disrepair. It is owned by an elderly widow who is going to live with one of her children. Her husband did a lot of work on the house, but at one point he became sick and could no longer upkeep it. So it needs a lot of work, both esthetic and structural. The seller, however, refuses to "give her house away," and will accept nothing a few thousand under her asking price. Her realtor thinks she doesn't want to move, and this is why she is being stubborn. He's probably right; the house has been on the market for a year. We do not expect results from the letter, but we can always hope.

So with our only real prospect unlikely, our realtor told us that it looks like the mortage industry is heading back to requiring 20% down before buying a house, and we might want to consider that and not wait for too long to "get in the game." She suggested looking into a condo or townhouse, which the husband strongly opposes, or widening our search area, which is probably what we'll do.

Max's must-haves for a home:
1. Must need some work done to it (as a former carpenter, he would not be happy in an already fixed-up house)
2. Garage (so he can have a workshop)
3. Close to our gym/his karate classes
4. Good resale potential

Lee's must-haves:
1. Not on a main road
2. Nice neighborhood/decent school district
3. Some character; I don't want a "cookie-cutter" house
4. Preferably not a ranch

So we're a little depressed about the house search now, but we will march on. Anybody else going through this? Please post any encouragement/stories you can.

What I'm reading now: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

On deck: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix